The time the CPD bitched about my Green Bay Packers hat.

A poor excuse for a Christmas poem. I know there's no meter, mostly, but I was trying for Christmasy, as opposed to a good poem. I feel like I've outdone most of William Topaz McGonagall's work, so I'm ok with it.

‎'Twas the afternoon before I left Chicago for LA, and all through the city
not a single Chicago policeman was beating a criminal or a kitty.

The Green Bay hat was worn by the Dexter with care
in hopes that the Packers would kill the motherfucking Bears.

My hands were tucked well deep into my coat
I had visions of palm trees and pacific ocean boats.

the weird creepy guy in his CPS outfit and I in my Packers hat
had just settled in by the bus stop to wait, not to chat.

When out on the street a CPD SUV rolled up
I looked up, pissed off, to see what could be up.

Down went his window, it flew like a flash
I worried about his baton going "smash"

The sun on the breast of the new-fallen snow
gave the luster of midday to the objects below.

When what, to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a CPD officer, and his scraggly little beard.

The chubby young driver, so lively, but slow
I knew in a moment that I might want to go.

More rapid than eagles, his coursers could come,
And whistle and beat me and catalog wrongs I had done.

"Your hat sucks," he said with disdain.
my eyes popped, it looked like I might avoid pain.

We talked about Cutler, I told him I was sorry,
Though to see the Bears beat, I'll be really quite jolly.

For the Packers and Bears play on christmas at five,
And a present for me would be Bears skinned alive.

The CPD and I had a nice interaction,
but this kind of present gives me no satisfaction

On christmas I hope for the crushing of dreams
As this officer and his friends weep at the fate of their team.

"Now Rogers, Now Driver, Now Nelson, Now Finley,
On Woodson, On Hawk, On Bishop, On Crosby,

To the end zone and on, over the Bear wall
Tackle and run, pass and catch the football"

And bring me for christmas the greatest of presents,
The Bears out of the playoffs, and a first-round bye-esents.